The Inspiration

The inspiration for this blog comes from studying improv at UCB. In many of our exercises we have to tell a story that comes to mind based off of a one word suggestion. My stories always end up revolving around some horribly embarrassing situation I got myself into. The story I'm going to tell you now is what inspired me to start a blog retelling the cringe-worthy episodes of my past. I hope my unfailing dorkiness brings a smile to your face.

Fashionista Middle School Erin

It was a sunny humid August day in Altamonte Springs, Florida. This day was a big day. It was the Erin and Erin 14th birthday party celebration. My good friend Erin O'Brien and I both had birthdays within a few days of each other and both had the name Erin. If that doesn't scream LET'S HAVE A JOINT BIRTHDAY PARTY, I don't know what does. This was also going to be one of my first co-ed birthday celebrations and I don't want to brag but the guest list was pretty impressive; the creme de la creme of Teague Middle School and Lake Brantely High School were going to be in attendance. (This had much more to do with Erin O'Brien's popularity than mine, I assure you.)

I was looking fly in my fantastic birthday outfit. I showed up to Erin's house in my sunflower print, rolled up Bongo shorts, matching sunflower sneakers and bright yellow shirt feeling HOT. (I scoured my pictures looking for a shot in those shorts. I came up empty handed, a true tragedy.) Our friends started to arrive and I breathed a secret sigh of relief that the gossip at school the next day would not be how no one showed up to the Erinx2 party.

Now I don't know if it was a puberty thing, a nervous thing, or what but for a short window of time in the transition from child to teenager, I had a secret shame. When someone would make me really laugh, I'd nearly pee my pants. I assure you, it's not an issue today, or else I would most likely not tell this story. I still possess an uncomfortable laugh when I don't know what to say but the uncontrollable bladder is a thing of the past. (Don't be jealous.)

The party was just getting good when I was having a conversation with Brad Gomez (remember, I had BOYS at this party: boys, I tell you!) Brad Gomez is a funny guy. Who knows what he said, but it must have been funnier than a Judd Apatow movie marathon (or it could have been just mildly amusing . . . my bladder was weak, people) but it started happening, I was going to pee my pants. At my own birthday party. In front of boys.

I couldn't think of anything that made more sense then to rip open the sliding glass door that separated the large living room where the party was taking place from the swimming pool and jump in, fully clothed. So, that's what I did. I also threw in a, "Woooooooo! Pool party! Come on everyone! Jump in!" as I sloshed around the empty pool in the dark by myself waving my arms in the air to the faint sound of the music from the real party taking place inside, my poor brand new sunflower shorts already suffering the chlorine damage.

Needless to say everyone just stared from the living room, dumbstruck, until I gave up on trying to make the pool seem like the most obvious fun place to be. Erin O'Brien (bless her heart) walked me into the bathroom with a towel around my humiliated shoulders and let me borrow dry clothes. She asked me, "Why on earth did you just jump into the pool?!" I can't remember whether I told her the truth or not.

When you are faced with two choices: peeing your pants or looking like a totally cool party animal . . . . well, I think you know the answer to this one, guys. WOOOOOOO! Come on in! The water's fine!!!

Me, waiter at Planet Hollywood that's a little to creepy, Erin O'Brien and Lisa Heckerman