1. I am not smooth. I lost the straw to my drink three times. Once it was in my hair, once I smacked it out of the drink and across the bar in an awkward dance move and I have no idea where the third straw went. We were still asked to join a VIP table area by a group of dudes (because Kat is incredibly smooth and has crazy flirtation skills.)
2. I, on the other hand, got rejected when I wasn't even flirting. I was trying to be funny and sarcastic with the waiter because he had a small flashlight in his mouth while he pouring drinks from the bottle at the table. I said, "Wow, you're really good with a flashlight." He didn't even turn back to look at me while he said, "Yeah, so's that guy over there. Maybe you should talk to HIM." Yeesh.
3. You want a picture of you, a dude dressed like a giant penis, Spiderman and Paris Hilton? You got it:
4. Or a picture with an Oompa Loompa?
5. OR the world's tallest stripper?!
I'm your wing-woman.
6. But the drawback is that you have to deal with me wanting to get up on a platform to dance with a human chicken:
7. I can dance the night away with the best of them but don't ask me to have a seductive conversation at the same time because it will go like it did that night:
Cute Guy: "Hey, nice moves."
Me: "Thanks! It's my 'I got a big penis' dance!"
Cute Guy: <blank stare>
Me: "I mean, my 'I'm nine months pregnant' dance?"
Cue cute guy's swift departure. Whatever, I thought it was funny.
8. I will only have one drink so that I can drive, and pass the glasses of champagne that the random guys at the table pass me to you. GREAT wing-woman!!
That is the end of my list. It was definitely one of the most fun night's out in Hollywood I've ever had (I very rarely do it.) I'm so glad I got to spend an impromptu evening with Kat though! One more picture of Paris and Nikki Hilton:
Loving the expression on the Oompa Loompa.
This happened too:
But most importantly, we had fun:
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Wow! You made it all the way to the end of the story! Thanks! Thoughts?