Haters Gonna Hate

Actors can be real assholes. It's usually rooted in deep insecurity, which causes them to feel like they have to screw someone else over to make it in this business.

Here's the thing: if you have the luck to make an amazing career for yourself, it doesn't have to be at someone else's expense. In fact, the only way I want to make it is surrounded by people I love an respect.

I'll never be like Kirsten. (Pronounced Keer-stin.) I'm sure there are other lovely Kirsten's out there, but this one was, as the Duchess call, a hater.  

The ladies of Duchess Riot have been having great luck lately due to the success of our show at the Comedy Central stage. I'm so grateful for that, and I know the best is yet to come. However, it seems the more success that comes your way, the more haters you acquire. Yesterday, a few of us were called in for an audition at Paramount. Five Duchesses, one non-duchess, one role. We were all called at the same time, and we were chatting while waiting in the lobby area.

"Do you all, like, know each other or something?" Kirsten asks.

"Yes! I'm Suzanne," Suzanne extends her hand to Kirsten and she tentatively shakes Suzanne's hand while looking at her like she has leprosy.

"We're all in the same comedy group." Katie says.

"Oh, where does your little comedy group perform?" (This sentence was said so patronizingly, it was palpable.)

"Comedy Central asked us to perform at their stage a couple of weeks ago. That's actually how we all ended up here. LOTS of casting directors and industry attended." I said, with a smile because pretty much the only time I'll brag is when I'm faced with a condescending twat who is trying to tear me down.

"Oh. So, what are you going to do when one of you gets this part and the others don't?"

Did I mention this chick was a HATER?

"Be really excited for that girl and go celebrate with drinks!" Dione said.

"Right. Well you better make the girl who gets it PAY for the drinks. Can you even drink? You all look like you are sixteen." woofed Kirsten.



First of all, Kirsten, telling a group of actresses they all look super young is NOT an insult. Second, you suck. And the one thing we have learned as a group, is that we are going to have sucky haters, and we will kill them with kindness. (But I WILL blog about you later, as an example of the kind of actor I will never be.)

Go ahead and believe that we were naive and didn't notice you were being condescending. Laugh at us for all waiting for every Duchess to get in and out of the room, so we could walk out together. Tell yourself that if one of us books something and the other doesn't that we would be anything less than THRILLED for each other. It's not going to change the fact that we love each other and celebrate each other's successes. And trust me, Kirsten, we got a LOT of success coming our way.

Wet n' Wild

In an attempt to be fit and active, I hopped on board at my local gym when they offered a discounted rate for a yearly membership. I was spending WAY too much going to Cardio Barre and I wanted some variety. My friend Dione (a fellow Duchess) joined as well so we could take classes together. After a couple of weeks of Zumba classes, it was time to shake it up! This morning, I got a text from Dione saying, "Let's try the water aerobics class at 9:30!" Awesome! Here's what I was picturing:

Maybe a little of this:

I mean, who doesn't need a hand with pool noodles? Those things are so hard to manage! Water aerobics is the premise for the Magic Mike sequel right?

Instead, Dione and I donned our cute bikini's, grabbed our towels and noodles, and walked in to this:

Those ladies are having too much fun though. It was more like this:

Bad disco music was pumped through the chintzy pool speakers. The young, super fit and enthusiastic instructor was so thrilled to see us. , we were determined to have fun and make the best of it! Everything was great, until I put my foot in the water and it was freezing. That's where I draw the line.

I will accept that my dream of a fun, Vegas pool-party style water aerobics class at my local gym is dead. But I will not accept being cold and wet before 10am. Those bouncing, buoyant grannies are tougher than me, I'll be the first to admit it.

Next class? Spinning! If anyone has gone, can you tell me if it's more like this:

Or like this:

I'd love to have a head's up this time.

What's up?

Well, hi! It's been so long since my last blog that I have to figure out the new set up and format of Blogspot. As if life weren't tough enough, amirite?!

After about six months of dead air, I'm back. Mostly because my mother gets joy from reading my blogs and sharing them with her friends. The other reason is that, as always, I love writing. Any excuse is fine by me.

So, what's up?

For me, a lot! Career, life, EVERYTHING has gotten steadily better and better this year. I can't complain. I do complain, often, but I shouldn't. If we just automatically reached our goals, they wouldn't be as sweet, right? Sure! Let's go with that.

I won a fellowship from Writer's Bootcamp to develop my pilot and have a shot at a development deal at the end of all of it. I am really proud of this. After having a successful reading for my 2 Broke Girls spec at iO West, it's been the first tangible confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction by pursuing the writing side of my career with more tenacity. I'm halfway through my first draft of AmericaLand (my pilot, based on my year in Singapore) and I'm having a BLAST recreating that world.

The other source of ridiculous pride for me lately is my all female comedy group Duchess Riot. We were invited to perform at the Comedy Central Stage, a prestigious step for a comedy group in LA, and sold it out, got a standing ovation, and accolades from many casting directors and industry folks. Missed the show? Not to worry! We were invited BACK to the CCS and also have a few shows a month that you can catch whenever you fancy. www.duchessriot.com

The reason I get such joy from this group is that these ladies have become my closest friends. Yes. Every single one of them. You may say, "A group of 8 women and you ALL get along?! Yeah, right!" and to that I laugh! I say, "Pffft!" Come see a show. You will see 8 chicks who love each other to pieces and come alive when they get to share a stage together. It's the most fun I've had performing in years!

I'll catch you up on more and have stories of me being a total weirdo soon! Subscribe, follow me on twitter (not you Mom,) or FB.

Thanks for reading!
Love!